A fistful of fig newtons, or, The shootout in room 303 -- The light at the end of the tunnel -- The mole people battle the forces of darkness -- Marcel Proust meets the New Jersey tailgater, and survives -- The marathon run of Lonesome Ernie, the Arkansas Traveler -- Sociology 101 (Hip Division) -- Lemons on the grass, alas -- The lost civilization of Deli -- The whole fun catalog of 1929 -- Lost at C -- Ellsworth Leggett and the great ice cream war -- The Barbi doll celebrates New Year's

Truer-than-life tales of college life on the G.I. Bill, of "Kidhood" in Hammond, Indiana, of tailgating on the Jersey Turnpike, and of other familiar defeats and humiliations

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